The Art Of Moving The Fuck On

Every boyfriend is "The One" until proven otherwise, right? Well you've been proven otherwise, it's time to move the hell on. When you take a step back and realize the bad outweighs the good and you've exhausted every option with no resolution, it's time to pack up. You might even start to bargain with yourself like "Ill try this one last time and maybe If I lost some weight, maybe if I was more supportive, maybe if I was more positive or kept my mouth closed and ignored red flags things will be different", No. there's nothing you can do to better yourself for someone else. You can be the most loyal, attractive, honest and affectionate girl in the world, you can be "Perfect" and you will still never be good enough for someone who doesn't want it. Maybe it's not the time, maybe you should take some time and do you while he does him and eventually if you end up together that shit will be beautiful. The one thing that hold us back from moving on is the fear that we'll move on, the fear that this amazing feeling that I'm feeling is gonna be over for good and you'll be able to walk past that me without a thought and no one around us will know that at one point we were fucking crazy about each other, right? The bright side is having no feelings for someone is better then constantly being consumed by a broken relationship. The truth of the matter is a break up is never a one way street, one of you fucked up too much, took too much, and didn't appreciate shit, and the other gave too much, blamed too much, complained too much and allowed it. Maybe he'll get a new girl, let him, let her exhaust herself trying to make him a better man for another woman, The art of letting go is realizing what was, what it is, why it can never be and walking the fuck away while you still have a ounce of pride. Take some time and cry all you want, for months if you have to, but just make sure when you're finished crying, you never cry over the same thing again. Grow.

Our Dream Man's Fall/Winter Wardrobe.

Without a doubt the winter is when the men start to get a little shabby. All you see is hoodies and your typical beanie with some logo slapped on the front. If we have to sit through "No Shave November" with you, you can at least upgrade your closet and look half way decent and enough with your linty peacoats. I can't. Here's my dream man's wardrobe:

It catches my eye when a man has a nice coat in the winter.... An actual coat not a hoodie. 

And if you wanna keep it simple and most definitely drop some some panties...

I love a man in a scarf... 

How about you swap your hoodie for a sweater or cardigan? 

I guess the moral of the story is The colder weather isn't an excuse to not have your shit together.

If i save one man... I've done my job.  

Pronunciations n' shit.

If you can afford it you can pronounce it, and always remember a designer accessory with a cheap outfit is still a cheap outfit. 

Hermes: Air-mehz

Comme des Garcons: Comb day gar-son

Givenchy: Zshee-Von-She

Dries Van Noten: Dreez Van Know-ten

Lanvin: Lahn-vahn (soft "n")

Balmain: Bhal-man (soft "n")

Loewe: Low-ev-ay

Louis Vuitton: Loo-ee Voo-ee-ton

Yves Saint Laurent: Eve-san-laurant

Badgley Mischka: Badge-lee Meesh-ka

Bottega Veneta: Bo-tega Ven-e-ta

Bulgari: Ball-gah-ree

Carolina Herrera: Caro-leena Hair-era

Marchesa: Mar-kay-sa 

Giambattista Valli: Gee-ahm-battista Valley

Christian Lacroix: La-Kwa

Hervé Léger: Air-vay Lay-jay

Moschino: Mo-ski-no

Monique Lhullier: Mo-neek Loo-lee-ay

Thierry Mugler: Tee-air-ree Moog-lay

Yohji Yamamoto: Yo-jee Ya-ma-mo-to

Yves Saint Laurent: Eve San Lor-ron

Zac Posen Poe-zen

If you're like me... No sex before monogamy.

Lets be clear,  your body is your body and your needs need not to be judged nor dismissed. I myself am a very passionate person, what's mine is mine and I'm not into sharing, the moment I decide I want you my mind marks its territory, I've mentally lifted up my leg and pissed on you, therefore the near thought of someone on my turf will set me off... Now imagine if we have sex? Exactly.  If you're like me sex actually means something to you and we don't hand out our Labias like biblical pamphlets at Sunday school, we don't allow you to slide inside us until you're completely fulfilled then up and leave and hit us up from time to time.  If you're like me you're going to date and get to know some one so well that the actual relationship is so satisfying in its self that my reverse cow girl is only icing on the cake. When you're on top looking down on me I know you're mine, I belong to you and that gnaw on your ear lobe and panting whisper telling you "it's yours" is way more sincere then any thing you've experienced in awhile. If you're like me there is no "i care about you" that will distract you from separating lust from commitment. Don't get me wrong I've had sex before monogamy, but why do you thing I'm writing this piece? Last but not least If you're like me you're a relationship kind of girl and you better let that be known on the first date, We don't waste time, hair or dresses on dead ends... But that's only if you're like me. Good luck.

I'm Back

I've been gone for a little while but I'm back now, Answering all your emails and giving my piece of mind. 

Advice; Trash Box?

I need your opinion & thoughts on this situation Because right now im coming to the conclusion that my vagina is whack..sad to say. But here's the situation, its a bit tmi:

So I lost my virginity to this dude 3 months ago and we were talking off and on for 6 months prior to that. He started acting funny after we had sex. Like at first he'd text saying I miss you blah blah. And when I'd see him, he'd tell me he cares about me so much & misses but he never would hit me up to chill. I became sort of sex-crazed after that one time & basically offered him to be my sex buddy since I thought it was me telling him all my feelings that was scaring him away & he denied it! I tried everything possibly to try to get him to come over and he would flake on me each time. I thought virgin pussy was suppose to be the best pussy... &I even sat on his face that night. Based on what I'm telling you, is my pussy "trash" since he basically didn't want it after we had sex? Lol

The one thing that stood out to me has nothing to do with this man, it had everything to do with the fact that you have given a priceless gift away and seem to have no emotional attachment to it. I can sit here and lie to you and say that your virginity made you special and you were rare but that's simply not the case. Whether its your first time or your 56th time, to men... Sex is sex. Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems to me your more focused on "is my pussy trash" than "did I just make a really big mistake". 

You made a really big mistake. 

Pussy can't keep a man around. Pussy can't make a man fall for you. Pussy can't make a man think of you as a stable person they need in their life. Pussy is only pussy and when men need it they will get it, it doesn't really matter where it comes from because pussy has no face, pussy has no personality, pussy has no emotion. 

 So when you ask "is my pussy "trash" since he basically didn't want it after we had sex?" Probably not. He didn't want YOU after sex. Maybe he didn't want that responsibility of being someone's first, maybe he didn't like the fact that you immediately threw all self respect out the window to just be a fuck buddy, maybe you were just involved with the wrong guy who only wanted one thing. Here's some advice, you pack all this shit up, you find the most desirable qualities about yourself that has nothing to do with sex and you only display those characteristics until you find a man that has an emotional connection to you, and then you'll realize... 

Dick doesn't stop it's busy day to send you thoughtful texts, dick doesn't fall for you, dick doesn't enjoy your sense of humor or help your self esteem.

  

Sex is just a bonus. 

Advice; Double Dippin'

My college roomate for a year and a half recently broke up with his girl of 5 years on and off. (it was his decision, and basically said that it was a mistake to get back together with her) this happened in january, when i was no longer his roomate. since then, me and his ex have gotten closer, almost to the point where i could sense a relationship happening...am i wrong if something were to happen between me and his ex? -Angelo

"Bro's before hoes" right? not always. It's all about who your loyalty lies with. You have to understand you can't have both and you should definitely pick the one you'd rather have in your life. I know some men say that girls come and go but friends are here forever, but that's hardly the case. If you and your friend have an amazing friendship and you can't really see yourself losing that then you need to stay loyal and create a respectable distance with this lady who obviously is either extremely attractive or has a diamond encrusted vagina. If you see this girl as the one for you and can see a long term future with her then I say go for it, women make men better men and not only could this be a great chance at love but a learning experience. And if all else fails just talk to the girl and see if her feelings are the same THEN bring it to your friend. He might not give a damn (I'm sure he will on the inside). 

Or take the easy way out and go get a new girl that hasn't been touched by someone you know. That's always great. 

 Update me tho! 

Advice; EyeBrows Make Or Break Your Life

"Hello
 I am a follower of your IG and also your blog . My question is regarding your eyebrows . How do you themLike what kind of products you use ?" - Johanne

First of all the shape of the brows is key, the eyebrows should never begin or end shorter than where the inner corner and outer corner of your eye shape is. The easiest and most foolproof method for filling in your eyebrows is to use a powder or eye shadow. Unlike pencils, there is no worrying about lines looking too harsh, and the softness of the powder guarantees a subtle, well-blended, and natural appearance.

Step 1: Brush those brows with a spool, don't be an animal.

Step 2: Line your brows with concealer so they look a bit more pronounced and clean, but you if you over do it or don't blend the concealer well...you could look like a drag queen.

Already, even though its not blended, your brows look cleaner and more pronounced.


Step 3: Take your foundation brush and try to blend and diminish the concealer lines

Step 4: Put a little foundation on your brush (i like to use a sponge) and just make sure you really blend your  forehead and around your brows.

Step 5: chose your shadow. I do a medium gold because any Shadow that you choose appears 2 times darker on your brows. NEVER USE BLACK SHADOW FOR YOUR BROWS.

Step 6: Take a sharp angled brush and line your bottom brows with the powder and completely fill in the tips of your brows.

Step 7: bend the power lines into the rest of your brows.

And there you have it....

Curled Up!

I definitely prefer the curling wand over the curling iron, I think you only need to use a curing iron for light waves. there's a certain way you have to use the curling wand though.. there's an art to this shit.

You need two things:

You cant use cheap hair spray, when you buy that 1.99 spray  not only does it not hold  the curl  but it smells once heat touches it. Big Sexy Hair spray is like $15.00 but you can just get the travel sized one for $5.00

I prefer Remington curling wand because the heat  goes all the way up to  410 degrees and it also come with a heat protective glove so you wont burn your self and if you're like me... you'll burn yourself. You can get this curling wand at target for $20.00 depending on how thick the barrel is (The 1 inch barrel is perfect for tight big curls).

STEPS:
The dirtier the hair the better: I'm not talking about dandruff dirty but You can’t have it completely clean because the oils in your hair help protect your hair while you heat it so it’s good to have some in your hair.
Spray:  you have to spray your whole head with the hair spray and brush it through and wait a little bit for it to dry. If you touch your hair with the wand when its still wet with hair spray you can damage it.

Section: I personally start from the bottom and put the rest of my hair in a pony tail on the top of my head but I know most people like to Part their hair into four sections.

Curl: Put your glove on trust me. Wrap a small section around the wand, and there shouldn't be part of the barrel showing through. the smaller the pieces you curl the better and voluminous the curls will be, yes it takes longer but it looks better. Hold for about 15 seconds. Repeat all over hair.

Most importantly: wait till you've curled all your hair and spray it. Let your hair cool and just before your gonna walk out the door curl ...PULL YOUR CURLS OUT WITH YOUR FINGERS. If you don't pull your curls out you'll look like a cheap prostitute.

wallah!

Bad Advice: Small Penis

Alright, so one of my first advice emails was from an anonymous little fella with a heart wrenching question. "How can I make up for having a small penis?" 

"The right combination of foreplay and stimulation can make a woman worship a small penis just as readily as a large one."

The average penis is 6 inches so if you fall a little short of that just remember its more about width than length. If your lackin' meat that just means you need to take advantage of fore play, the more aroused a woman is before you enter the easier it is for her to climax. Honestly, between me and you,  no girl likes their cervix to be rammed all night long. I bet if you ask a girl what her favorite part of sex is she's not gonna say "oh he does this adorable little thing when he rams into me like a Honda civic with cut brake lines". I know and have heard of men that are very well endowed that don't know how to give a woman enjoyable sex. It's about passion, it's about clitoral stimulation, it's about foreplay, it's not about size... BUT  if all else fails...

The Rabbit Ears

The rabbit ears positions opens up a woman’s vagina to allow for full entry and for a closeness that allows the man to kiss her. Lay your woman down on her back, spread her thighs and draw her legs up until her knees are close to her ears. Slip a pillow under her bottom, as this will place her vagina at an angle better suited for this small penis sex position. When you penetrate her, it will feel as though you’re filling her vagina completely. So if you really feel like you need to accomplish something this should be you go to "Lil zick" move. 

Bedroom Bullshit

There's a couple things no woman wants to hear in bed, either because it turns us off so much our vaginas instantly shrivels up dry or it's just plain offensive. Here's a couple of my pet peeves.

Asking To Many Questions.

There's no place in the bedroom for those  "can I ?"  Men. Why are you asking me so many questions? If your in the heat of the moment you just fucking go for it an if she doesn't like it she's gonna redirect you... Like we always do. Most of us if not all of us want an assertive man in bed not someone who's gonna ask permission before he double taps on our cervix. I mean doesn't everybody have that "what I wanna do to you" sex talk with the person they wanna sex before the sex? If not maybe you shouldn't be having sex.. Just a thought.

Silent Sexer

There's nothing worse than a man that tries  his hardest to stay quite during sex. The ones that are so focused on not cumming too fast that you feel like your the only one in the room. I for one like dirty talk, maybe not all of us but even the moan, grunt, or even just the whisper in her ear is good. We're really feeling the way you let us know what your feeling. 

Referencing The Past

Don't you ever in your life tell us what the old girl used to do that you loved because every time were doing it were gonna think your comparing (which you are).  Instead try "You".

"You" is the best word you can say to a woman in bed. "You feel so good" instead of "That feels so good." Instead of  "I love this" it should be "baby I love when YOU do this". It's more personal, less speaking in general and more speaking to me. 

And finally,

Did you cum? 

Well mister, if you have to ask then...

Landing Strips n' shit

I think as soon as people think of a woman having pubic hair they automatically assume she looks like she has Bob Marley in a leg lock, but no...well at least not all of us.

I'm probably the only girl that i know that loves a nice thin landing strip, A landing strip is similar to a Brazilian, but it leaves a thin strip of hair in place just above the vagina and its different but still clean and manicured. If you knew how long it took to perfect the perfect landing strip you would appreciate it much more... I'm just saying. 

         Here's some other dope pube styles for that kitty.

"The Martini"

"The Hitler"

"Lightening Bolt"

"The sweet Heart"

But what ever you do make sure you wax everythang else and in between. No one wants a furby... NO ONE