Advice; Double Dippin'

My college roomate for a year and a half recently broke up with his girl of 5 years on and off. (it was his decision, and basically said that it was a mistake to get back together with her) this happened in january, when i was no longer his roomate. since then, me and his ex have gotten closer, almost to the point where i could sense a relationship happening...am i wrong if something were to happen between me and his ex? -Angelo

"Bro's before hoes" right? not always. It's all about who your loyalty lies with. You have to understand you can't have both and you should definitely pick the one you'd rather have in your life. I know some men say that girls come and go but friends are here forever, but that's hardly the case. If you and your friend have an amazing friendship and you can't really see yourself losing that then you need to stay loyal and create a respectable distance with this lady who obviously is either extremely attractive or has a diamond encrusted vagina. If you see this girl as the one for you and can see a long term future with her then I say go for it, women make men better men and not only could this be a great chance at love but a learning experience. And if all else fails just talk to the girl and see if her feelings are the same THEN bring it to your friend. He might not give a damn (I'm sure he will on the inside). 

Or take the easy way out and go get a new girl that hasn't been touched by someone you know. That's always great. 

 Update me tho! 

Advice; EyeBrows Make Or Break Your Life

"Hello
 I am a follower of your IG and also your blog . My question is regarding your eyebrows . How do you themLike what kind of products you use ?" - Johanne

First of all the shape of the brows is key, the eyebrows should never begin or end shorter than where the inner corner and outer corner of your eye shape is. The easiest and most foolproof method for filling in your eyebrows is to use a powder or eye shadow. Unlike pencils, there is no worrying about lines looking too harsh, and the softness of the powder guarantees a subtle, well-blended, and natural appearance.

Step 1: Brush those brows with a spool, don't be an animal.

Step 2: Line your brows with concealer so they look a bit more pronounced and clean, but you if you over do it or don't blend the concealer well...you could look like a drag queen.

Already, even though its not blended, your brows look cleaner and more pronounced.


Step 3: Take your foundation brush and try to blend and diminish the concealer lines

Step 4: Put a little foundation on your brush (i like to use a sponge) and just make sure you really blend your  forehead and around your brows.

Step 5: chose your shadow. I do a medium gold because any Shadow that you choose appears 2 times darker on your brows. NEVER USE BLACK SHADOW FOR YOUR BROWS.

Step 6: Take a sharp angled brush and line your bottom brows with the powder and completely fill in the tips of your brows.

Step 7: bend the power lines into the rest of your brows.

And there you have it....

Curled Up!

I definitely prefer the curling wand over the curling iron, I think you only need to use a curing iron for light waves. there's a certain way you have to use the curling wand though.. there's an art to this shit.

You need two things:

You cant use cheap hair spray, when you buy that 1.99 spray  not only does it not hold  the curl  but it smells once heat touches it. Big Sexy Hair spray is like $15.00 but you can just get the travel sized one for $5.00

I prefer Remington curling wand because the heat  goes all the way up to  410 degrees and it also come with a heat protective glove so you wont burn your self and if you're like me... you'll burn yourself. You can get this curling wand at target for $20.00 depending on how thick the barrel is (The 1 inch barrel is perfect for tight big curls).

STEPS:
The dirtier the hair the better: I'm not talking about dandruff dirty but You can’t have it completely clean because the oils in your hair help protect your hair while you heat it so it’s good to have some in your hair.
Spray:  you have to spray your whole head with the hair spray and brush it through and wait a little bit for it to dry. If you touch your hair with the wand when its still wet with hair spray you can damage it.

Section: I personally start from the bottom and put the rest of my hair in a pony tail on the top of my head but I know most people like to Part their hair into four sections.

Curl: Put your glove on trust me. Wrap a small section around the wand, and there shouldn't be part of the barrel showing through. the smaller the pieces you curl the better and voluminous the curls will be, yes it takes longer but it looks better. Hold for about 15 seconds. Repeat all over hair.

Most importantly: wait till you've curled all your hair and spray it. Let your hair cool and just before your gonna walk out the door curl ...PULL YOUR CURLS OUT WITH YOUR FINGERS. If you don't pull your curls out you'll look like a cheap prostitute.

wallah!

Bad Advice: Small Penis

Alright, so one of my first advice emails was from an anonymous little fella with a heart wrenching question. "How can I make up for having a small penis?" 

"The right combination of foreplay and stimulation can make a woman worship a small penis just as readily as a large one."

The average penis is 6 inches so if you fall a little short of that just remember its more about width than length. If your lackin' meat that just means you need to take advantage of fore play, the more aroused a woman is before you enter the easier it is for her to climax. Honestly, between me and you,  no girl likes their cervix to be rammed all night long. I bet if you ask a girl what her favorite part of sex is she's not gonna say "oh he does this adorable little thing when he rams into me like a Honda civic with cut brake lines". I know and have heard of men that are very well endowed that don't know how to give a woman enjoyable sex. It's about passion, it's about clitoral stimulation, it's about foreplay, it's not about size... BUT  if all else fails...

The Rabbit Ears

The rabbit ears positions opens up a woman’s vagina to allow for full entry and for a closeness that allows the man to kiss her. Lay your woman down on her back, spread her thighs and draw her legs up until her knees are close to her ears. Slip a pillow under her bottom, as this will place her vagina at an angle better suited for this small penis sex position. When you penetrate her, it will feel as though you’re filling her vagina completely. So if you really feel like you need to accomplish something this should be you go to "Lil zick" move. 

Bedroom Bullshit

There's a couple things no woman wants to hear in bed, either because it turns us off so much our vaginas instantly shrivels up dry or it's just plain offensive. Here's a couple of my pet peeves.

Asking To Many Questions.

There's no place in the bedroom for those  "can I ?"  Men. Why are you asking me so many questions? If your in the heat of the moment you just fucking go for it an if she doesn't like it she's gonna redirect you... Like we always do. Most of us if not all of us want an assertive man in bed not someone who's gonna ask permission before he double taps on our cervix. I mean doesn't everybody have that "what I wanna do to you" sex talk with the person they wanna sex before the sex? If not maybe you shouldn't be having sex.. Just a thought.

Silent Sexer

There's nothing worse than a man that tries  his hardest to stay quite during sex. The ones that are so focused on not cumming too fast that you feel like your the only one in the room. I for one like dirty talk, maybe not all of us but even the moan, grunt, or even just the whisper in her ear is good. We're really feeling the way you let us know what your feeling. 

Referencing The Past

Don't you ever in your life tell us what the old girl used to do that you loved because every time were doing it were gonna think your comparing (which you are).  Instead try "You".

"You" is the best word you can say to a woman in bed. "You feel so good" instead of "That feels so good." Instead of  "I love this" it should be "baby I love when YOU do this". It's more personal, less speaking in general and more speaking to me. 

And finally,

Did you cum? 

Well mister, if you have to ask then...

Landing Strips n' shit

I think as soon as people think of a woman having pubic hair they automatically assume she looks like she has Bob Marley in a leg lock, but no...well at least not all of us.

I'm probably the only girl that i know that loves a nice thin landing strip, A landing strip is similar to a Brazilian, but it leaves a thin strip of hair in place just above the vagina and its different but still clean and manicured. If you knew how long it took to perfect the perfect landing strip you would appreciate it much more... I'm just saying. 

         Here's some other dope pube styles for that kitty.

"The Martini"

"The Hitler"

"Lightening Bolt"

"The sweet Heart"

But what ever you do make sure you wax everythang else and in between. No one wants a furby... NO ONE

LASHES

Everyone is always asking were i get my lashes, I've tried buying them online and all you get is bad quality lashes that fall apart and make you look like a cheap hoe. I've also tried the Drug store brand and they come with really shitty lash glue that has no stick or stay power. I hit the jackpot when i went to Sephora and found these bad bitches...

Mink - dramatic criss-cross black classic strip lashes

They go for about $10.00 and its so worth it. The criss cross lashes make your eyes pop and look a lot more realistic than the thick straight ones. The bases are tough enough to be reused multiple times. 

Kept Bitch

"Yeezy I ain't your right girl, you'll probably find one of those "i love art" type girls".  I just came across this picture of amber rose and thought damn. When she was with Kanye she was fucking iconic, there was something about her that was so mysterious. We knew nothing of his arm candy which left us to believe they would sit at home and bathe each other in milk while they listen to Beethoven and fucked all night. She was the perfect trophy, never spoke, never had opinions, hardly smiled, so statuesque, She just stood there like money. Something about a woman we know nothing about is so intriguing and It ended to quickly. Maybe that's why we have a hard time accepting Kim and Kanye? Kim is so opposite, so open... we know everything so there's no mystery. Not every woman can pull off being an accessory like Amber Rose.

She's happy running around wearing leggings and target dresses now but to me she will always be the ultimate kept woman.

Public Displays of Affection vs Social Displays

There's no such thing as to much PDA in my book, I want to be able to rub your crotch under the Dinner table while we wait for our entrees. 

Embrace me, Don't be afraid of a little affection, I want you to grab my camel toe in public... Shit, It's yours...Right?!

Social PDA is a whole different story. Your inviting people into your personal life that don't personally know you and personally don't need to Be there. There's a difference between kissing at Starbucks with a few on lookers and declaring your love over twitter for one another...the difference is the audience. I myself believe in keeping who I'm keepin' to my lonesome because when things go wrong.. I'd rather not have the audience.  get it? Just know that "Private" is not to be confused with "Secret" We need to know of you not about you. Always keep your money and your love life private.... Unless you tryna share.

Muggin'

This is exactly why i never leave the house with out having my shit together. Just look at these down ass bitches that almost turned their mug shots into thirst traps.

Name: Gabrielle

Offense: Drug possession

Name: Jennifer Jensen

Offense: UNKNOWN

Name: Meagan Renea McCullough

Offense: DUI

• Imagine it's like any other picture you would take (only your probably high on crystal meth and this isn't Instagram).
• Turn slightly to your left or right instead of looking directly into the camera, Give us some 3/4 profile.
• Lift your damn face a little to avoid the fatal "double chin", this is the last thing we need right now.
• Mug shots Are 67% hair....fix your hair.

Le Cleavage

I know one of my frequently asked questions is where I purchase my bras. Any bitch past a DD knows that Victoria's Secret just doesn't cut it. Listen, I'm a 38F cup. I can't go in to stores and bra shop I have to go online.

http://www.lanebryant.com/cacique-plus-size-sexy-bras-intimate-apparel/4043/index.cat

Here's a few samples of what they offer and the prices range from about 40-70$

My favorite bra type is the balconette, Sometimes known as a shelf bra. it lifts the breasts to enhance their appearance, shape, and cleavage. More revealing version of a demi-bra, I like a little separation in my cleavage so this is my shit. 

HI

I wake up every morning and tell myself I'm a bad ass bitch from hell and no one can fuck with me And then..I don't let anyone fuck with me. I'm just here to give questionable advice and then some...